writer's note: I completed writeing this series of blogs many weeks ago, I however suffer from a serios case of the procrastinations. Excuss the order, it seams I deleted the first post and had to republish it after all the others. I like it better that way though, it gives less order to my already unorganized thoughts.
Tonight’s the night ladies and gentleman! Not for a grand performance or anything of that nature but rather it’s a night to blog post! I can’t seem to fall asleep so I’ll be detailing the many reasons why I cannot fall asleep tonight.
Perhaps my thinking about these questions will help you out with your problems. If not, maybe you’ll enjoy seeing the inner workings of my brain. If not, then maybe you’ll enjoy my word use. If not, then maybe you’ll have fun mocking me when I pass you in the hallway. Either way, there’s fun to be had somewhere in this blog.
This leads me to my first question, should I follow my dream?
This one keeps me up at night more than any other questions. The idea of a dream the thought of a dream keeps many people going. Some people dream big, some people dream very little. One person’s dream I knew was to be a zookeeper. You really do have to love the modest. Most people’s dream is to be famous. My dream is……Well I’m not going to tell you what my dream is because once you tell someone your dreams and aspirations they become devalued, it’s almost like once it’s out people expect you to act accordingly. I hate having to live up to more expectations than I already do.
In the field of my dream there is already many people doing that kind of job and it’s almost certain I’d be underemployed or impoverished for many years because of my attempts of following my dream. But the thing is I still see myself being happy, living life like some kind of bohemian. But then again, I don’t have the slightest clue what life as impoverished individual is like. In reality I’d probably pack my bags and come running home to my mommy. That’s what my cynicism says. My heart, or rather the part of the brain that’s optimistic wants to think that I could tough it out.
There’s one other thing, one rather important thing that scares me. I don’t see myself being happy in any other paths that life could take me down. I truly don’t see myself in some insurance brokerage or government agency being even a little happy.
Maybe life has something down the middle for me? Maybe I’ll grow out of my dream and the government agency or cubicle that I’ll show up to work every day won’t be that bad. Maybe my boss will be really funny or something or maybe I’ll fall in love with the girl in accounting. Or maybe, just maybe, I’ll go after my dream with all I’ve got. And maybe, just maybe I’ll be living the dream and I’ll wake up with a smile on my face every day of the year. Or maybe, my dream will be a living hell. Life works in funny ways, after all.
But either way, as long as life throws some cards my way, I’ll play.
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